After all, what comprises me

There are so many aspects of my personality that cause me grief. Sticking points that have lasted years and years, rough patches that surface every so often, areas of scarred-over distinction that were seemingly discarded through careful meditation and therapy.
Even still, there are things about myself that, having once been abhorred, became a comfortable part of who I am. I have an unceasing predilection for diet beverages (colorful way of describing my addiction, natch). My inability to attach comfort in large groups of people has allowed me to look inwardly and embrace that part of myself. Indeed, it used to bother me to no end that I felt so exhausted after speaking in public or spending much more than a few hours in the company of strangers. Time and education have greatly diminished the anxiety that came with the ambiguity of cognitive dissonance. I have much to be grateful for that I have been allowed to live as long as I have and experience a fuller breadth of emotion.
Others negativities come to mind, but it is oddly provocative how well I have been able to find peace with aspects of my soul.
But to digress back to the beginning to find the fulcrum of this entry, so that we can take a deeper dive mentally into what makes me tick. Rather, it's the tock that matters to me for now, if we consider life's yin and yang aspect to the metronomic imbalances we encounter. (enough with the unnecessarily complicated metaphors, RD....)
There have been seasons in my adult years where I was able to find success in pushing down and away those aspects of me that, for whatever reason, are unrefined and indelicate. I have bouts of anger that I am never proud of, but that's not it. I have an uncanny ability to yoyo about with workout regimen, dietary endeavor, and other approaches to health. But that's not it, either. Nor is it my inability to finish school, maintain a level approach to friendships, or help around the house with regulatory and consistency.