Terrible Nothing

I walked out, inflatable But remained within orbit Of the pain and all it traveled with Heh - pain. Tiny flaccid syllable Shared like sacramental wine from the cup of proximity Learned ambiguity by virtue of osmosis This is to say, sorry- Moment to moment, violent - No trust to emotion My life was a throat clearing tremble Closing off all sensory input I can still walk the paths of shame and emancipation Discovery and wracking sobs, quieted so the visitors don't hear And that damn bird, it's dark outside In sleeping temblor I imagined an axe Or even fire, or shaking, or a boulder cast from the sky to emancipate the noise from the night The natural man disciplined. Another narrative, alas Going under, rage gone soft. Fight leaking into the dusty corners of the room 90 cycles was an eye blink moment Wooden rocking weight from a salted visitor Unkind finger-pointing, eyes pale. Purposeful, undelight. Believed words crested as notes on parchment Drifting, a flow and float as my chest compresses Blink, damn you - and cease to invade unconscious slumber. At dawn's first amber parade All inquisitors mute or fervent, prescriptions implied What once bore weight in the frame, now rests upon mine It was terrible, and it was nothing Inference tattooed naively on a tired mind The birdsong ordeal ended. The waking reality, severe.