Regret

At the delivery center on June 6, 2019

I realize deep attachment to "things" may not be the healthiest attribute I possess.  But I cannot help it in this moment, as I sit within the tangible feeling of regret in my soul as think about what I did this week.

I said goodbye to Petra.  My most perfect Tesla Model 3, who over the past three years, bandied me about as I took kids to school, drove to work, and kept up an engagement over state borders.  She barely gave me any trouble until the end, when her brain seized up and she required a new one.  It was an expensive repair.  That, coupled with the extended miles I placed upon her for the duration, prompted me to foolishly abandon her to someone else.

The miles multiplied quickly for so many reasons, other than noted above.  She was exhilarating to drive. I went to Payson, Flagstaff, Tucson, Utah, California, and so many other places, it's hard to keep track.  And it was always so cheap.  Road trips were a cinch when you only paid $8 to get there.  Foolishly, I let the wear and tear accumulate too rapidly.  

I also realize that this will probably be the first and last Tesla I ever own, as they have grown prohibitively expensive over the last few years.  I have proudly explained in the past that I purchased her for $36k, before the $4000 reward from the federal government for purchasing an electric vehicle.  That same vehicle now costs $49k now, with no rebates, and costs still rising.  

Astoundingly, she was sold for $33k with a ton of miles racked up.  I am sure she will bring the next owner a lot of joy once she is all fixed up and has some new shoes on her.  She only brought me joy, that's for damn sure.  

 June 29, 2022.  Battle damage included, she's still a beauty

And while this story is laden with undeniable privilege, irony, and hyperbole (which I will not deny and am truly ashamed for), it's also punctuated by the fact that the car I purchased to replace her with is already in the repair shop, having landed there a mere 15 miles after picking her up from the dealership.  

I am confident still that when I truly drive my next car, she will help calm my feelings of regret.  But for now, everything is exacerbated by the fact that the car I chose to replace Petra with has already fallen ill due to a small manufacturing defect.  

Crossing my fingers that things go smoothly in the days ahead.