I really should try to remember what I did this weekend, only because I’m sitting here feeling too darn satisfied and accomplished.  Back, I say!  Wipe that smug look off your face. 

Thursday.   Only because our weekend starts on Thursday.  We knew we were in for a long weekend, with showers and parties and visiting family and what-not.  (Reading that sentence to myself, I realize I should completely avoid any complaint or heavy-handed tones)  The wife returned from work at her usual hour that evening, feeling overwhelmed and not a bit relieved at the thought of the approaching weekend.  Full of advice I was not, and so suggested we head off to dinner.  

We thought an invitation to my mother-in-law was in order, and did so.  But alas, she had already eaten!  But the thoughtful woman one-upped us at that point; she offered baby-sitting.  Ah, the weekend had just gotten that much better.   

For some strange reason, we decided to head ourselves in the direction of our neighborhood California Pizza Kitchen.  They have good sourdough bread.  It’s the reason I used to go there so much.  

Side note: sign of the times, you have to request the bread now.  Even more poignant sign of the times; the bread stinks.  Only slightly resembles what it used to be, and more closely resembles damp styrofoam.  But it was eaten, of course.

The wife and I did a real number on the poor waitress that evening.  First offense was sending back the Pepsi; it was flat and watery.  Plus I forgot that Pepsi is only ordered when eating Mexican food.  But that’s an aside.  Second offense to the poor attendant was the Wife’s entree.  Being the adventurous and cavalier spirit that she is, she ordered something new.  Now, she’s a trooper and fought a few bites down, but several people averted their eyes after a few moments of the arrival of the dish and begged for wooden stakes to be driven through their hearts.  Oh, you didn’t get my joke?  Garlic.  There was too much garlic in the dish.  Get it?  Vampires don’t like garlic.  Oh, forget it.

So, we sent it back.  At that point, dinner was a bust, so she wanted to see the desert menu.  Ordered the Hot Fudge Sundae.  Sounded like a safe bet to me!

The waitress came back with something called a Turtle Sundae, which seemed odd to me.  Odd because my wife never, ever mentioned the word “turtle”, nor those numerous other words in the English language that rhyme with “turtle”, such as….such as…hmm. I’m no Dr. Suess here, but I’m fairly certain there aren’t any.

So the third offense was set in stone at that point, and away went the turtle sundae.  After a few moments the waitress came back with a sundae, minus the turtle.  That worried me.  And spoiled my appetite.  

The date night continued on quite effortlessly from that point.  A trip the the Fake Apple Store, where I was coaxed by the employees to display my hacked Dell Mini 9 netbook running Mac OS X.  Ok, ok, maybe I steered the conversation toward a point where they simply had to see it.  But when they actually asked, I grew afraid and asked if I was allowed to.  Afterall, did I not break the EULA?  Hogwash.  

And what would a date be like without a trip to Wal*Mart? Lucky for you readers we don’t have to find out, because there was Wal*Mart.  Oh, yes.  I’ll spare you the details.  Synopsis: we bought a lot of crap that we didn’t need, but will always end up using.

Friday was a very lazy day.  Didn’t even leave the house until 2’ish in the afternoon, when it was time to hunt down fruits and vegetables for the baby shower the Wife was throwing that evening.  First stop was Fresh and Easy, which has never proven to be either or, as this particular location always smells like old celery and involves us carting down one aisle before turning back for the door.  

Sprouts ended up being a wiser decision for us, and besides; they have bulk candy.  

Later that evening, it was just me and the boy.  Sumner and I had great time, ordered pizza, ate most of it, watched Madagascar 2, played video games, and made cupcakes.   Sadly for him, he fell asleep right before the first batched popped out of the oven.  I saved him plenty.  Which he’s not allowed to eat.  Muah hah hah. 

Saturday my friend Neal came over to play Super Metroid.  By my count, this now makes just over 12 years that we have been playing that game together, and we show no signs of stopping now.  I’m always grateful for his visits.

When the afternoon arrived, we packed up the family and headed for Maricopa, some 45 miles southwest of our location in Mesa.  A birthday party for my wife’s boss’ son, and Sumner was invited.  You may have already seen the pictures from this raucous occasion.  A wonderful individual with a half dozen or so snakes and lizards came to entertain the kids and adults alike.  Everything from a lizard that would fit in your hand, to a 17 foot Python he brought, and the kids loved every minute of it.  Sumner let the man put one six foot python around his neck, and I’m still reeling from the shock.  The boy runs from the sight of a seven pound dog.  Amazing.

Put the kids to sleep that night and watched The Quantum of Solace, which was great.  It was a good night for a Bond flick.

Sunday was spent at my folks house, eating wonderful steak and potatoes and brownies, watching Sumner play outside like a loon, and relaxing a bit.  Came home after a few hours, tidied up the home, and settled down.  Being void of cable TV, HULU.com came to the rescue and allowed us to catch up on Scrubs and The Office.  

It all brings me here, 927 words later, to the point where I sit here on my bed, typing away on a keyboard that is much too small for comfort, compelled by some unknown force to give you all a traveling journal of my weekend with the family.

If you enjoyed it even a quarter as much as I did, then I know you smiled.  Thanks for the read, come back again tomorrow.